Saturday, July 3, 2010
Time to get personal.....
So, First I want to start off on a positive note. These are my babies, without them I would be lost. They were given to me at a time in my life when I was young, vulnerable, and full of love.
I, like many people suffered from PPD. I have struggled with this a lot. Lately I have felt like I've been in more of a rut. I recently suffered a miscarriage, my angel would have been due tomorrow, July 4, 2010. I have dreaded this day for weeks now. I'm not expecting anything great or bad to happen tomorrow. I'm going into this day with my head up and no intention of letting it get to me.
However, tonight I was sitting here working on the computer, thinking about the dreaded day AGAIN and looked over and saw this book that I had purchased to use for some giveaways next year during MOPS. I decided to pick it up and look through it. The first paragraph I read was this.
"You don't have to stay in the pit. Even if you deserve it. Even if you've known nothing else. Just call it a day. Maybe you're wondering why you can't get satisfied there. After all, didn't Paul say we learn to be content in any circumstance?
A pit is one place you're not suppose to be content. Quit trying to make the best of it. It's time to get out. When Christ said, "come, follow me," inherent in His invitation to come was the equivalent invitation to leave. The laws of physics tell you that if you try to get one place without leaving another, you're in for a pretty severe stretch. You can only do splits so long!" *Beth Moore
Now, I realize that to some of you this may mean nothing. However, I took this as a sign of my rut needing to be over. It's time to pick up the pieces and stop dwelling on things that have happened. I need to leave my "pit."
I first studied Beth last Feb-March with an awesome group of women and she never ceases to amaze me. Her teaching always make me feel as if she is staring at me and talking to me.
I usually don't talk about this with a lot of people, in fact, some of you may be shocked I even shared this. I just really feel like it is time to get this out and work on crawling or jumping rather; out of my rut! It is not a fun place to be and not a place I intend to stay much longer!
Before I sign off I do want to give two huge shout outs! My mom and totally been there for me though all of this. Random late night phone calls and lots of trips to see me!
Also, Jen B. I haven't seen you for 2 years, yet I still feel like we are as close as we were then. Thanks for the VERY late night chats (even with a newborn at home!) and the many times you let me cry like a baby! ;) Thanks for all the prayers and advice throughout all of this! Love you guys! :)
Posted by B at 9:37 PM